i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
