We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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