So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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