This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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