She is in my trunk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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