For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
