he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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