I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
