the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
