We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
