so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
