dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
