i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
