You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
