OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
