These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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