good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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