does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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