This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
