Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
