I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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