Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize