it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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