I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
