Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
