If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The beer is more important than you right now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
