my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
