so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
