i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
