I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
