I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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