she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
