Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i will never coherently bang her
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Someone shattered a urinal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
