So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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