I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my poor anus
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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