Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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