I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
