when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
