Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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