My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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