I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
