He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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