Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
