It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
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