Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You pole danced in your parka.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
