I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
