Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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