sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need help removing her.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
