just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
