This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
